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When Your Autistic Child Hits or Attacks
A simple plan. One step at a time.
3-step response
- 1
Keep everyone safe — gently block, don't grab.
- 2
Use few words: "Hands are for helping."
- 3
Offer a replacement: squeeze a pillow or stomp feet.
Calming tools
Take a break
Step away for 60 seconds. The moment will still be here — and you'll meet it softer.
Breathe together
Breathe
in… and out…
in… and out…
Follow the circle. 4 seconds in, 4 seconds out.
First → Then
Name what comes now, then what comes next.
First
Quiet time
Then
Favourite snack
Why this might be happening
Hitting is often communication when words aren't accessible. Stay regulated yourself — co-regulation comes before correction.
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Try emotion cards
Help name the feeling so hands don't have to.
Visit 1 for hitting.